One of the fish who swims in these waters also frequents the deeper waters shared by much faster fish. The other fish, actual racing fish in real life, are apparently the cheetahs of the water. This one fish I know can usually hang with these cheetah fish, and occasionally, can beat said cheetah fish.
My only goal was to beat this one fish who runs with the cheetah fish. I accomplished that goal in 17 laps, none of which were completed while sober, so I'm pretty excited about how I did.
The way I see it, if I can beat the one fish I know who can sometimes beat the cheetah fish, and I can do it with a blood alcohol level approaching double digits, you fuckers don't stand a chance.